Real Life: The MMO

Sleep is such a wonderful sensation. I love that feeling before you log on, where you are vaguely aware of yourself, but still asleep. It is most definitely the best of both worlds... at least until your semi-conscious state starts remembering all the shit you have to get done today. I just leveled last month, and I have a bunch of new skills to train up, and I really need to farm some cash. Fine, I load up and log on.

The older I get, the longer I sit at the loading screen. I hit snooze at least twice now, and even after I am up, everything is still a bit fuzzy. Load lag sucks, and I have almost gotten killed a few times nearly falling down stairs I hadn't even registered were there. Fucking life devs need to work on the god damn server infrastructure. I swear they only care about the fucking bottom line, and performance doesn't improve because they don't want to spend the damn money on it.

First thing I do every morning is buff up. I can't get anything done without a haste buff, and coffee seems to have the longest duration, unless you are willing to buy cocaine or meth which is considered speed hacking, against the TOS, and can get you perma banned. I eat and drink sometimes, if my stats are low, but most mornings I just want to get to my grind spot as fast as possible and get things going.

I am a member of a pretty decent Company. I joined about a year ago, because my old Company was a bunch of drama queens and we were stuck in terms of progression. People were just slacking and not pulling their weigh, and shit was going no where. If I had to listen to one more noob whisper me, bitching about this or that, I might have uninstalled right on the spot. Emo more, people. The people in my new Company were getting some phat loot pretty fast, and I wanted to get in on it. Some nice loot has dropped for me in the past year, and my Bank is filling up at a pretty decent rate, but its a pretty boring grind mostly. We farm the same clients for loot day after day, but I have a pretty decent farming spot, and my clients drop better than average loot, so I can't complain too much. I am still a long way off from the epic mount I want, though. Acura TL... nice car, and way faster than my current one.

I solo farm mostly. My class is pretty good solo, or duo, and sometimes I run with this woman at work who has some skills. (At least I think its a woman, but with plastic surgery these days, you never really know.) Grouping seems to slow things down for us, because there is always some idiot who says the wrong thing at the wrong time and wipes our chances of closing the deal. Its hard to find a good group in my line of work, even from within my Company, but grouping is good for Rep with the Company faction, so sometimes you just have to suck it up.

Occasionally my whole division gets together for a Company raid on a particularly important client. They drop the nicest loot, but each of us only ever has one small function to perform, and it gets very boring doing the same small task over and over. The experience sucks, and the Supervisor is usually yelling at everyone to focus. One asshole in our company always whispers me about how he should be the supervisor, and asks if I would support him. He is a washed up chump, and he is so damn annoying it hurts. Fucking devs should program a mute feature on the VOIP in this damn game. I mean what the fuck to they do all day anyway? I should find the official forums and give them some pointers on how to make a decent game. WTF.

My job forces me to group with Lawyers a lot. That class is so ridiculously overpowered. $150 fucking dollars an hour. It takes me a day or longer to farm that much, and they basically AFK for an hour and its in their inventory. They are smug too. You suggest they put it on group loot, and they are always like "LOLZ, THX FOR THE GRP NUBS!1!11." I would fucking gank their asses so fast if I could catch up to them. damn epic cars...

The devs really need to nerf Lawyers. Class balance in this game is absurd. At least they got it right with the Doctor nerf a few patches ago. Man, the HMO patch really put them in their place, and Lawyers total melt their faces in PvP now.

Speaking of ganking... I saw some fucked up shit on the news the other day. Apparently in my area, a PK'er is running around ganking people. He must be a dread lord by now, because this asshole has pk'd like 20 people, and the cops can't figure it out. I have a hint for them... he is probably some pale faced loser, picked on by other kinds when he was young, who still lives in his moms basement. Fucking noob. Oh well, my parents rolled me on a PvP server so you just have to watch your back.

Anyway, today, I am going to hit up the Mall and buy my wife a BOE epic ring. It hurts the Bank, but the wife faction goes up like crazy, and the faction rewards are very, very good. I need to hit revered if I want to buy my epic car anyway, so its worth it. We spend most of our gold, twinking our daughter. We train her well, and get her nice gear, so she is going to totally WTFPWN all the other little kids when she levels up a bit more, and its going to be fun to watch.